Supporting ADHD
For many ADHDers it can feel like you’re a square peg that the world is trying to force into a triangular hole.
This was certainly the case for Tom and Pete, the 2 people who have shared their thoughts and experiences for this blog.
As young people they both struggled with memory, and concentration, but also with profound confusion as to why things that were straightforward for others, were stumbling blocks for them.
They were left feeling upset, and frustrated when others became angry or saddened by their behaviour. To them, they were just being them.
Then, as adults in a world that is opening up with dialogue and information, the pieces fell into place.
‘i have ADHD! Ah, now it makes sense!’

Not only was this a giant weight off their shoulders, it was also incredibly helpful for their partners (one of those being me), because we could finally start to understand, and properly support them.
So when you figure out, or are told you have ADHD, the question then is, how can I support myself and work with my neuro diversity, rather than against it?
This is where Solution Focused Hypnotherapy has been a game changer for these guys, their families, and other ADHD clients I have seen and continue to see.
Both Pete and Tom daily use the 2 tools I provide all my clients with:
- Writing down ‘Whats been good?’
- Listening to the Hypnosis relaxation
Both of these activities relax the brain, and put it in the rational, intellectual part.
Pete begins his day by doing these, and says it allows him to start from the best place possible for beginning work. It calms his brain and allows the hyper focus of ADHD to become an incredible passage of productivity and creativity, rather than feeling like he’s going deep down a rabbit hole that wastes his time.
Tom likes to end his day with these tools, as it calms his brain and allows him to get a good night’s sleep. Something that was a real problem for him before.
For Pete, having tools that get his brain into a positive rational space, also allows him to quieten the negative dialogue that he has previously struggled with. Shame at forgetting things, or worrying that he has let someone down again, used to lead to a distressing downward spiral. He can now rationalise that, as the positive, sensible part of his brain grows stronger. This is really helped by his daily writing down of What’s been good?, as he has a physical body of evidence, that reminds him of his achievements, positive changes, and positive interactions with others. Reminding him he does not need to live up to an impossible standard.
For Tom, the positive effects of these daily habits, allow him to quieten his mind, and stand back to observe his behaviour. This really helps with impulsivity, knowing when to ask for help, and noticing when he is reaching his mental threshold where a rest is needed. Tom says being able to observe, rather than react as much, allows him to see which parts of his life are challenging, and which are made better by having ADHD.
Both say ADHD brings significant gifts. However, it can be knowing how to best use them that ensures they feel like gifts, not curses.

For Tom, his job as an Electrician is perfect. It gives him Dopamine all day long, and Hyperfocus means he works fast and accurately. Because of the huge amount of stimulation he gets from a day’s work, he is not seeking dopamine when he gets home. This makes downtime way more enjoyable, for both him, and his family.
We have a lovely term which we took from the ADHD love channel on YouTube. Sidequests! This lighter term for distractions, that lead to distractions, that never ends, is a really nice way to de-stigmatise what can be seen as a real obstacle for ADHDers and their families. It means I can ask Tom if he’s on a sidequest, and it helps both of us figure out the situation and whether it needs changing, without anger, confusion, and judgement.
Pete feels now that by using the daily tools, and attending Solution Focused Hypnotherapy Sessions, his sidequests have become amazing pathways of diverse creativity. Through his Solution Focused journey he has developed more and more of his own tools, such as using the app Trello for lists, that have continued to support him and help positive habits to grow.
This has meant both guys have been able to max out the positive potential of their neuro diverse brains, rather than feeling shame and sadness by trying to achieve things in a way which simply isn’t right for them.
Solution Focused Hypnotherapy is all about the client learning about themselves, and how best to meet their own needs, to be the happiest version of themselves.
When we do this, our relationships improve, and we can understand each other better. Myself, and Pete’s partner have and continue to walk the Solution Focused path, and it means our relationship with our ADHD partners has improved.

We now know how best to set boundaries with them that actually work, so that we can either step away from the behaviour, or support them. This means that we now actually get to leave the house on time for joint activities! We row less, and we feel less ignored, or disrespected by their behaviour. Knowing they have ADHD validates our experiences, and gives us permission to step in if we feel a situation is spiralling, rather than being confused and upset.
Solution Focused Hypnotherapy can work as a stand alone support for ADHD, or alongside medication.
It is an amazing way for those with ADHD, and their nearest and dearest, to find a more compassionate way of living.